July 9, 2025 by Ekaterina Kuznetsova

Change

For a large part of my life, I’d looked at change as something you decide and make happen. So you assess your current state, identify what you want to change and how that should be instead.

Then you make a plan (if needed) and act. For example, you feel you want to change your style — you book an appointment for a new haircut. It’d not be interesting if that would be true for all situations. The recent years of my life have shown me that it doesn’t always work like that. Rather, the logical approach I’d been heavily relying on just makes it worse in some types of desired change. The situations I’m referring to are the ones around change of state. State of mind, perception of things, overthinking, and responses to certain triggers. Or even changing the situation from being lost and overwhelmed to accepting the current reality and noticing what comes from the inside. I’m talking about a change in the state of body and mind.

Sometimes change is not something you can decide on and plan through. Sometimes you cannot explain or understand change only with your mind — that’s not enough. You can only experience change. Feel it in your body. Notice it in the way you look at and feel about things, then also in your behavioural responses.

Then exactly the same words you used to just describe and comprehend the desired change land differently. You feel the meaning of those, not just understand it. This is a big feeling, it opens up a lot of strength and energy. You can only change and learn by experiencing how it can be different for you. Sometimes you cannot even imagine how something in the way you are and feel can be different — until you experience this different state.

But how to get that experience of change in your state? You cannot force it, you cannot battle for it, you cannot logic your way out. The first thing that you need is to stop fighting with where you are right at this moment, hanging there being not exactly satisfied with something about yourself or your life.

It is possible when you feel safe and steady enough (not in panic or paralyzing overwhelm). Then you are able to be present here and now, you are open to experiment and see what happens. Then change happens. By first leaning into your current reality and then starting to experiment. Not inside your mind, thinking through all the possible scenarios, but taking (small) steps in real life.

Change happens when you stop acting out of fear or discomfort around the current point you are at. It happens when you act out of love: curiosity, engagement, and trust.

What do you notice while reading this post? How have you been experiencing change in your life? Let’s talk. Let’s connect and exchange our views.