July 20, 2025 by Ekaterina Kuznetsova
Making Decisions with More Clarity
Until some moment, I’d never thought that people can have different ways of making decisions. Then I noticed friends often asking me how I was able to choose fast.
I have my own (intuitive) ways — about that I tell below. Important to note: my way is just an approach among many — I see people being and operating in various ways. My processes may resonate or not — you can look at them as a new perspective to be aware of.
So how do I choose? Of course, it depends on what the decision is about, how much time I have, and what the circumstances are. Below are the approaches I rely on most often. The most beautiful part here is that you can also combine them or use them one after another in any order.
- Feel the options
Imagine you have chosen one of the options /made a decision to (not) do something.
Ask yourself these questions:
- How does it feel?
- Am I enjoying it?
- How do I feel about myself having chosen this option?
- Am I happy? Relieved? Proud? Do I feel heavy? Am I ashamed? Am I angry at myself?
- How do I feel with respect to the other?
Example
I use approach (1) very often for small daily choices like food or activities. For example, I imagine having a sandwich and a soup for lunch — I choose the option that feels better, where I enjoy it more. Or I think of going for a walk vs. doing a workout — imagine each and feel where I’d enjoy more. The beauty here is that there’s no universal answer — it differs from day to day. What matters is the reconnection with the self, right in the moment.
- Logic + emotion
Write down all the scenarios or potential options to choose.
For each of the scenarios, describe:
- benefits of choosing the option
- costs associated with choosing the option
Benefits and costs can include both rational factors (e.g., “I’ll save more money”) and emotional aspects (e.g., “‘I’ll be missing my home"). Think of the consequences of each decision. Think of what you’ll miss out on by choosing a specific scenario. Think of who and how will be affected by the decision. Look at the whole picture — how do you feel? What are the most important points in each option and category? What factors are not deal-breakers? Highlight what matters most — what is the actual choice you’re facing?
Example
Approach (2) can work well when considering an activity to attend. For instance, if I am invited to a friend’s party and decide whether to go or not. If I choose to go, one of the benefits could be being able to catch up with good friends. Cost of such a decision might be me having less energy the next day due to fewer hours of sleep. I’d also take into account what I’d not be able to do if I went to the party (e.g., evening walk), what friends would think and feel and how I’d feel about that. Here, let’s say, catching up with my friends would not be a deal-breaker for me, since I have a brunch planned with them for next week. However, good sleep is crucial for me, as I am delivering an important presentation the next day. Therefore, in this simplified situation description, I would choose to not go to the party and sleep longer.
- Powerful question
Refocus from looking at specific options to yourself at the moment.
- What is important for you at this point? What do you want to pursue or change most? Do not analyze logically for too long.
- Having the answer to the above questions in mind, how do the options and potential decisions feel like to you?
Example
Approach (3) can be most useful when you feel stuck and overwhelmed with some big decision to make. For example, you’re considering moving abroad for work. It can be the case that it’s crucial now for you to change the environment you live in, to get more financial stability, or to stay physically close to your family and friends. Having what matters most in mind can give you direction, and can serve as a compass when considering the next move. There’s no right or wrong decision. And the choice you make may differ depending on what matters most at the given point in time.
How do you feel about these thoughts? Let’s talk. Let’s connect and exchange our views.