December 10, 2025 by Ekaterina Kuznetsova
MY Thing: The Truth of My Choice to Become a Coach and Thinker.
I’ve been getting more and more clarity on my journey as a coach and as a person. The more I work with clients and notice what doing this job touches in me, the more dots get connected for me.
When I got into coaching and counselling more than two years ago, one of the key things I had been missing was the connection – being in one-on-one intimate dynamics with someone, having more deep and real conversations where one feels heard, acknowledged, and true to themselves. This still holds.
An interesting realisation here for me was that being fully present in this one-on-one contact is actually one of my key areas of improvement. I went (in part, unconsciously) into something where my big triggers and traumas are – to face my real self, with all the wounding. With the experience of being a coach, I’ve gotten the opportunities to become aware of the parts of me that were hidden deep, to give space to the whole of me, and to embark on the long journey of healing. This experience gives me the ability to genuinely feel what my clients might be going through, while staying aware of my own triggers. I am sensitive, perceptive, compassionate, and open to the ways of being that differ from mine.
However, intimate connection is only a part of what I find deeply satisfying in being a coach. When I work with clients, I noticed that what truly gets me into a generative flow state is reflecting and brainstorming between the coaching sessions. The coaching session itself is about dynamics of being in a shared space with the other: feeling, observing, and co-regulating. For me, that’s a process of collecting the “food” for thought for a later moment. And then comes my favorite part: thinking. I sit down to reflect on what happened in the session, what I notice in the client and in myself, I brainstorm on the things to explore and try next. I am someone who feels deeply and notices things, and one of my superpowers also lies in seeing patterns in information and connecting the dots. I love to offload all the thoughts and ideas I have and to then organise that into a clean structure. After putting everything on paper, I don’t necessarily feel an urge to use all that with the client. I use this flexibly, with all those reflections and ideas having settled in my head after writing them down. This insight – that I enjoy most those moments on my own between the coaching sessions – triggered a wider realisation in me. What if this is actually MY thing: thinking? For years, I’ve been living in a feeling of being stuck and slow, pushing myself (unsuccessfully) to act faster and feeling as if something was wrong with me. But what if I am actually slow to act, and that’s just my way? What if “thinking” is my “doing”? Maybe it’s time for me to allow myself to just be ME and do MY thing. It’s not about becoming totally passive, it’s about allowing my whole self to breathe and generate.
I know that there are many people out there for whom “doing” and “acting fast” are their key talents, their “things”. I am not like those people – and that is wonderful. Maybe that’s my role – sharing my observations, reflections, and thoughts. So that those who act fast take what I generate and do something with it, maybe even together with me.
I do not feel any urge or desire to do something with all my reflections, For me the process of thinking is the end result in itself. So maybe that is exactly my place, and that’s where my role (or my part) ends. This state of being fully immersed and engaged, when I lose track of time and when I feel so generative – that state cannot be confused with anything else.
In conclusion, I’m coming to my overarching realisation about professional activity overall in my life. What I notice about myself, in life and work, is that I am always in the process of mapping things I learn onto my own life. What matters most for me in my professional life are the opportunities to learn, expand my awareness, and transform myself, while doing what matters. Coaching allows me to grow personally. In addition to being in intimate connection, sharing my energy and creating a space of being “seen” for the other, I take that experience through me in my reflections, to then share my thinking and journey of transformation with the world.
I don’t feel like an “alien” in this world and this society anymore. I feel the joy of being me. I am at risk of not being understood. I am at risk of looking like a weird one who’s lost. But inside, I feel fully certain and very much myself. And I want to be this way, rather than anything else, even if this way very few would truly resonate with me. I am finally not forcing myself to fit into the conventional frameworks of modern society. I am different, and I am perfectly okay.
I feel that my true life’s meaning as at this moment lies in this process of years of self-exploration and transformation. I am hungry for that. That’s what I’d do for hours each day. Noticing, thinking, going deeper and finding new connections. That’s it: that’s my destination and my never-ending journey. And I believe me doing truly MY thing would bring a ripple effect for other beings in ways I would not even be able to imagine.
What do these reflections touch in you? Let’s talk. Let’s connect and exchange our views.